100% BAMBI-ALA Human Hair for sale!

 *oops!!#...

I meant "100% Virgin Brazilian Hair" for sale.
I don't actually know if the hen who laid the egg is a virgin...
or if the said hair is scraped only from some "virgins'" heads...
If you ask me, na who I go ask?
Omawunmi to the rescue???
I don't think so,
Omawumi might be into Brazillian weaves...
Not sure she's so crazy about them that she can't do without 'em tho'

which can not be said of the average Nigerian girl
If it's not the new Galaxy S4, its the new BlackBerry Z10
If its not 100% Human hair weave extensions,
Its 100% Mullatto baby hair!

 So would I really be wrong to predict that in about a few months or years down the line, Facebook will be replete with ads like the caption above?

That those beggars from Niger or Chad (don't quote me 'cos I'm not sure where they're from)...
You know the ones you find in Lagos and at Inter-State Bus-Stops(Eatries)...
The ones who are neither fair nor dark in complexion (tragic mulatto; I don't know o)...
The ones hold on to the edge of your garments until you give them some money...
The ones with naturally curly, mulatto-like hair on their heads...
 Yes, I mean those oyinbo-miss road beggars.
How wrong would I be to predict that their line of business will soon change?
I am not saying they'll love to stop begging...
Nahh., very unlikely...
(I say this because from experience, I've come to find out that they prefer begging to any kind of work)
I'm just saying...that,
what if they just woke up to the reality on ground...
that the average Nigerian girl is a slave to fashion...
that the average Nigerian girl dresses not just to impress the opposite sex..
but to outshine her friend and all other members of the female gender(if that were possible)
That the average Nigerian girl can never have her sense of fashion or her zombie-like fashion style affected by recession.
She would rather starve than have that happen...
So if they woke up to this reality
and decide to scrape some of those precious "gold-strands" on their heads...
and sell them to some smart Ibo merchant..
who'll take them abroad(most likely China),
and have them weaved or wefted(whatever its called),
Brought back to our dear country Naija,
with a fine label on them..
Lemme suggest a label for this wonderful new brand...
100% Bambi Human Hair!
Would have said "Bambiala Hair", but I'm trying to keep it funky here..
so permit me on that step away from reality,
'cos the reality on ground might just be,
that the so-called 100% Brazilian Human hair extension on your head might just have originally belonged to that little Nigerien or Chadian beggar tugging on your clothes,
begging you for a dime...
Oh my, you're so disgusted by their touch you practically flinch everytime they come close,
you hurriedly search through your purse for some change...
Just so you can avoid their "disgusting" touch..
I feel you Sista!
I feel your pain...
But permit me dear Sista! to ask a bugging question...
its tugging at a corner of my heart..
and you know, my big mouth just won't let it slide...
Am wondering why you're so disgusted by the touch
of the goose who laid that "golden egg"
you're proudly wearing and flaunting so proudly on your head..
Oyinbo dey pursue you, you dey pursue oyinbo, Choi.

But Why Sisterly? Why???
Sista! Sista!
Funny Sista!
Funny Peculiar.